The Essence Of Who I Am

No one knows that my favorite headphones don’t work that well anymore 

But I use them every time even though they are 10 years old

And I have two better pairs hanging next to them

I bought those headphone when I was 13 

Because my favorite youtuber had them

They looked like they came out of a 50’s recording studio 

And her voice was a powerhouse

I even tried to make my hair look like hers 

She was a singer and I wanted to be a singer

She was amazing, her talent was outstanding

I watched her go from little youtube videos

To winning 3rd place on the voice TV show

I voted for her in the Macy’s music contest 

The day she won and I literally jumped for joy

She made me so happy with how happy she always was 

Then she finally put out her own albums and I bought every one 

I thought it was funny how she was best friends

 With Selina Gomez and yet I just listened to her music 

I watched her make her music dreams into reality 

She gave me the courage to start singing in front of people 

And a few years later she gave me the courage to join a band class 

It’s where I met the love of my life

And because of her I sang my heart out next to him every weekend  

But one month after our first date I looked at my phone 

Practicing to perform on a small stage for our band

When I saw her name on the news

My heart stopped and I nearly dropped my phone

She was dead

Shot at her first tour meet and greet 

She was only 22

I’m 22

It couldn’t be true

I cried as if I had lost a dear friend 

And I had

She taught me everything 

She taught me how to do my hair the way she had in a video 

She taught me that singing always goes a long way 

She taught me to follow my dreams 

She taught me to talk about being a christian even if it was terrifying

She taught me to sing loud 

She taught me that music could save my life 

Even if it couldn’t save hers

It’s been 6 years and I’m crying just thinking about her

And the worst part of her dying that tragic death

Is that every time I listen to her voice it hurts so much 

I miss her

So instead I listen to others peoples music 

through her headphones

M.A.P

©

(I do not own this photo)