The Essence Of Who I Am

She was younger than me

I saw her a few times at church

I know her parents were divorced like mine

She looked sad all the time

It made me feel less lonely

And then one day I heard my mom talking on the phone

I snuck down the stairs and listened

It didn’t take long for me to know what happened

Hope was dead

Killed herself

I wanted to know how she did it

I never wanted to know how she did

Her brother found her in the bathroom

He threw up

Her dad came home shortly after

They moved right after

Her mom said she did it because she was bullied at school

I think it was that day that I told myself that maybe hope was a lie

My mom went to the funeral

She left the program on the table

I took it

I still have it

I cried looking at her picture

She was so pretty

Prettier then me

How did Hope lose hope

I promised myself I would never forget her

And a decade later that is still the truth

Except I know that hope is real

And I could have just been like Hope

And maybe because of Hope, I saw the cruel reality of it

How does an 11-year-old girl kill herself

How do you make sure that these children don’t lose hope

Because we are a part of this hope

And it gets better every day

No bad day should make you decide that the rest of them should go away

M.A.P

©2023